The Real Reason I Missed Rehearsal This Week

I look forward to Wednesday nights, when I beetle off to Hexham to sing with my friends as we try to produce a sound that would be good enough to charge people actual hard cash to come and see us. I see friends, people I really like, and it’s one of the highlights of my week, really lifting my spirits on the rare occasions that I feel a bit down. But last Wednesday was different. I was in the grip of a feeling that made little sense; I couldn’t see the appeal in anything. And so I made my excuses and stayed at home. It’s true that I had a bit of a cough, and my singing would not have been very tuneful, but that’s never stopped me before. 

“Low mood”, they call it. I suspect most of us have been in its grip at some point or other. It’s not depression so much as feeling lost, unmotivated, lacking enthusiasm for the things that on most days would get into your soul and lift you. 

Stuff like music having no effect, or not wanting to talk to anyone. Maybe the food you love is tasteless, or events that you normally look forward no longer hold any appeal. Your main thought is to go back to bed and hope that it all blows over soon. 

Well, that’s been me for the past few days. If I had a few minutes to myself I would normally head straight to Spotify and give Thin Lizzy or Black Sabbath a blast, but I couldn’t see the appeal of it. And yes, I know that a lot of people who aren’t feeling low would completely understand that anyway – maybe you’re not a fan of rock music – but it’s something I like to do and the point is I didn’t want to do it.  

“But what have you got to feel down about?” I know that’s what you might be thinking, but this feeling doesn’t always arrive as the result of a specific event. You don’t have to have a reason for it. However, having said that, there were a couple of things which kicked me off on the downward spiral. Firstly my lovely uncle Peter died, aged 90, and although I didn’t see him a lot he was still a part of my life. Add to that the fact that I had a cough that just refused all requests to “do one,” and a cat that wakes me up early every morning with a meow as loud as an air raid siren, then you get the picture that not everything is as rosy in the garden as you would like it to be. 

Now the good bit. What did I do about it? Because all things must pass, as the great George Harrison once warbled, and that includes this feeling. There are things you can do to kick its ass and help it out of the door. Things seem brighter now for me and that’s down to a few things that helped me, and they might help you too. I record them here in case you find yourself in that same position.  

Firstly, I told my family. I mean, they suspected as much anyway as I stopped laughing at my own jokes. I’m used to them not laughing but I’ve always found myself funny. I stopped telling jokes altogether in the end. 

Secondly, at Rachel’s suggestion (she’s good, she’s a nurse) we went out for the day to somewhere we both love to go. In this case it was Wallington Hall and the sight of the crocuses and daffodils struggling through the wintry soil to show off once again made me actually smile!

Thirdly, I started taking St John’s Wort, which claims to lift your mood. Apparently it’s very popular in Europe and if it works here it’s worth a go. 

Fourthly, I got out of bed in the mornings. I’ve been off work this week as it’s half term and the temptation was to say in bed all day; but I got up, showered, and did all the things I normally do, even the mundane chores. Keep going, in other words. 

Seeing friends helped too. They don’t know it yet but I’ve seen a few of my friends in the village here over the past few days and every time I’ve come away feeling better. So thanks, mates, you know who you are. And you can be damn sure that I will be going to rehearsal this Wednesday if only to reconnect with friends there. 

There’s no shame in this, and I did think long and hard about whether I should write this blog. It’s not the usual witty nonsense, but if just one person finds it useful – or funny even! – then it was worth doing. 

And I’m feeling better now. By this time next week, my usual blog nonsense should be back, and I may even have a half used pack of St John’s Wort for sale.