I don’t know if there’s actually anything in this astrology lark. I like to keep an open mind about things like this, along with the teachings of the Flat Earth society, Alien invaders arriving before Christmas, or Sooty being a Russian spy. 

I’m a Saggitarian, for what it’s worth. Half man, half horse, and it’s always been a source of irritation to me that I have the body of a man and the face of a horse rather than the other way round. 

According to certain astrology websites, the fact that I was born on December 13th means that I am adventurous, intellectual and funny. OK, maybe there is something in it after all. 

I looked for a list of weaknesses, and it goes on to say that I will be bored easily and pontificate a lot. What rubbish. Everyone knows that my main weakness is chocolate hobnobs. 

Given that the world’s population passed 8 billion the other day. there must be around 667 million Saggitarians in the world, of which I am one. So logically, according to Horoscope.com, this what will happen to me and my fellow horse-people tomorrow, 30 November 2022. 

“Today more than ever you will yearn to escape from the daily routine. You’re thirsty for new sights and sounds, new faces and places. However, you’re well aware that you must juggle your desires with your professional or domestic obligations. It isn’t always easy but you must trust your imagination to suggest a way to amicably settle this conflict. Also, at 3:35pm, your car will be destroyed in a controlled explosion outside Tescos in Hexham.”

So then, I’m “yearning to escape from the daily routine” am I? Well, I’m going to get a brake light on my taxi fixed tomorrow, which will take about ten minutes and see me sitting in Costa while the engineers work on it, so maybe that’s the break in routine that I’m after. I’m not going to let not become a habit though, because I’m actually very comfortable with my daily routine as it is. I could do with the weather being a little warmer, so I’m not scraping ice off the windscreen of my taxi before getting into it before the sun comes up, but once I’m out and about I love it.

“You’re thirsty for new sights and sounds, new faces and places.” This is hardly a surprise.I think most people would like a change of scenery once in a while wouldn’t they? Maybe I’ll be diverted on my taxi run tomorrow, and end up going to Stamfordham via Leeds. But more realistically, I’m off to Ibiza next year (not in my taxi, I should add) so I’ll wait until then for that. As for new faces, yes it’s always nice to meet new people but I’m not “thirsty” for that to happen. And the new sounds that I seek are covered by my obsession with the band Wet Leg, (which I can’t play in the taxi by the way as it’s not suitable for children or strait-laced adults). 

Truth be told, I’m still waiting for my hearing aids to be fixed, so until that happens I’m a bit suspicious of any new sounds. 

This horoscope goes on to tell me that I’m “well aware that you must juggle your desires with your professional or domestic obligations.” Well, to quote Billie Eilish, Duh! Once again this applies to everyone I know. You can’t go galavanting off on an abseiling weekend in The Lakes when the dishwasher needs emptying. Them’s the rules. 

“Also, at 3:35pm, you car will be destroyed in a controlled explosion outside Tescos in Hexham.“

Unlikely. I don’t shop at Tescos.