The Lake District of North West England will hold you in its thrall. Once you go, and spend a few hours in a spa, sipping prosecco and enjoying the view over Windermere on an Autumn Day, you may never want to leave.

That’s my experience anyway. And never mind not wanting to leave. In our case, it came to the point where we thought we might never be able to.

But before I get to that particular drama, let me bang on about how lovely our one night break at the Low Wood Spa resort was. We had originally planned a week in Greece but what with one thing and another this had to make do instead. But it was a very worthy substitute, I can assure you.

We (my wife Rachel and my youngest stepson David making up our happy band of three) arrived on a Wednesday morning after having stopped for a decent but expensive brunch in Ambleside on the way. Remember the name Ambleside. It will come up again, more than you might expect.

We had trundled down the M6 on our way south when Ten to the Top started on Radio 2. Whenever Rachel and I hear a quiz, it’s the law that we must write down our scores. Not carrying a notepad in the car, we made good use of a recently acquired and still warm but empty Greggs coffee cup to record our magnificent 18 on the first round and 29 on the second. That’s more than I scored when I was actually on the quiz back in February when I notched up 9 points, which incidentally still won me an Alexa smart speaker. Even now it sits proudly in our living room, listening to our every word…maybe.

Our scores from 10 to the Top, recorded here for posterior. Er…

The afternoon was spent in the already mentioned Spa. Prosecco was sipped. Half naked bodies were warmed in the heated water (apologies to the planet). Towels got wet. The RAF flew past in a salute to our little break; or that may have just been a routine training exercise, we may never know. The views were beautiful; at least those of the mountains and lakes, maybe not so much the half naked bodies and wet towels.

In the infinity pool at the Spa. Sorry, I couldn’t help looking smug

In the evening we found ourselves at the Blue Smoke Restaurant, tucking into a sirloin steak and other meaty delights (apologies again to planet Earth) before retiring to our rooms after a hard day – er – relaxing.

And then the next day, we tried to leave, only to be thwarted by events.

Our first attempt saw us travel about three miles when we realised that we still had one of the room keys. Being the conscientious people that we are, and more to the point, worried that we might be charged twice if they thought we hadn’t checked out, we headed back to the hotel and rectified the problem by handing the key back.

The next attempt was abruptly halted after about four miles at a roundabout when a dog ran out in front of us, completely unaware of the approaching traffic. It was lost in its pursuit of whatever it is that loose dogs are in pursuit of. Bones? Rabbits? Cats? We may never know, because after we stopped and David had gathered her up, she refused to divulge why she was there or what she was doing.

Belle, refusing to answer questions. She is now in custody.

So guess what? Back we went again to Ambleside where the dog, a very well behaved tan and white border collie called Belle (sic) was delivered into the safe hands of a local vet who contacted the owner to let them know that their lost pet was safe and well. Good deed done; and maybe as a reward for that, the third time we tried to leave Ambleside, we succeeded.

So from now on whenever I hear the name Ambleside I will think Hotel California – “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

Not until Good Karma finds you anyway.