Any idea what Red Zhoug is? Me neither. But that was on the menu when I went out for breakfast  with my two stepsons and a dog called Rio this morning. 

We had ended up at a place called The Kiln in Ouseburn in Newcastle, and I had imagined myself tucking into sausages and bacon with a fried egg and maybe a cup of tea in a chipped mug. But the variety of breakfasts on offer in the UK is no longer limited to the few choices that we were offered at the steamy-windowed Greasy Spoons of the 1970s. And that’s why I ended up with scrambled egg, kofta and cherry tomatoes on a sourdough slice, which let’s face it is probably much better for me than anything that I could have been presented with 40 years ago. 

Cappuccino. Look, no handles!

One of my lads arrived before me by about five minutes, and the other one (no names here) joined us an hour and two cappuccinos later. But it gave me time to take in my surroundings and see who I was sharing the space with. 

As well as food, the Kiln offers hand made pottery, which is very on trend. Businesses must do what they can to survive these days and I like the idea that there is often more than one reason I might want to visit them. The cafe itself is in a very popular area of the city, where most, if not all, of the old factory buildings have been converted for use as something else. This one has exposed pipework on the ceilings, along with wooden tables and red brick interiors. A sign above the kitchen at the back read “Die Große Zeitung Berlins” which my limited knowledge of the German language and some help from Google translates as “Berlin’s biggest Newspaper.” Not sure of the relevance, but I liked the sign purely for its aesthetic value. 

In Newcastle, we ignore clouds, and eat al fresco whenever we can. Except I didn’t.

I had already visited the Brinkburn Brewery next door, but as you’d expect that has more of boozy lunchtime vibe. And this morning was all about breakfast, no matter what form it took. 

Sunday mornings in Newcastle attracts a wide variety of people to its restaurants. I looked around and there was no doubt that I was the oldest one there, although that didn’t make me feel out of place. Even when a man walked in with a cuddly stegosaurus under his arm. 

Rio, the dog (I mentioned her in the first sentence, remember?) sat placidly among the noise and haste under the table. Being a labrador, she kept to her job description by eyeing up all the food and saying a smiley hello to anyone who looked in her direction. Someone brought in another dog, who wasn’t a labrador, but they just exchanged a cheery good morning before the new visitor went on his way, to sit underneath a different table and beg food there. 

The boys and I chatted away about important things. The impossible infinity and wonder of the universe. Poverty in the Middle Ages. The best way to get to sleep. And what to get their Mum for her upcoming birthday. Happily, we resolved one of those issues, but it’s not one that’s going to make us any money anytime soon. 

Red Zhoug, by the way, is a spicy condiment from The Yemen. So now you know. I didn’t try it, although I think I’d like it, but for dinner maybe, not breakfast. I’m still not far enough from Greasy Spoon life. So if you ever go to The Kiln, and you do order it, please let me know what it was like. 

(If you fancy trying Red Zhoug, and other Mediterranean cuisine, this is their website: https://www.kiln.cafe )