This is a personal attempt to review the past twelve months in light detail, so that future generations can look back at my life, in the years to come when I’m just a photograph on a mantelpiece, and think “Blimey, he was staggeringly ordinary. Who was he again?”
I’ll not record the major events of the year unless they directly affected me. You’ll know all about the Queen’s Jubilee, and her passing; the unprecedented heatwave; the World Cup; and the birth of the best TV Game show ever, Traitors (which, if you misspell it by changing the I to a C, becomes a very different show.)
No, none of that. This is all me, me me. But I’ll try and make it interesting, because I love a challenge.
January
We began rehearsals for the concert to celebrate the 90th Anniversary of the Hexham Amateur Stage Society, in a draughty Hexham Community Centre on Wednesday nights. It’s always fun to see everyone after being away for so long and this was no exception. We belted out the tunes while the dark winter nights tried to get in through the windows. These rehearsals will go on fo the next ten months.
On 16th, I went off to Durham to see the women’s team play the Crystal Palace ladies. I went to the wrong ground, missed the first half, and the photo that the team had taken with the Palace fans after winning 1-0. Still, it was worth the trip.
February
I can’t resist a curry. I’m no different to a great percentage of the population in that respect. So on 24th you would have found me at Aramee in Prudhoe, tucking into a lamb madras as if my life depended on it, and as is traditional in these parts, washing it down with four pints of fizzy lager. I did this a lot when I was in my twenties, but trying it when I’m over sixty turned out to be a gargantuan mistake.
It’s quite sad that the month in which I had an audition for the concert, lunch with my boys in Monkseaton, saw Al Murray the Pub Landlord at the Tyne Theatre and went for an afternoon in Newcastle with two of my best mates, I remember February as the month that I was floored by monstrous, burning indigestion. Don’t do it kids, it’s not wise or clever!
March
Spring is in the air now and the daffodils are getting themselves noticed. I had a singing lesson with my eldest lad, Joseph, who is trying to set himself up as a teacher and wanted to use me as a guinea pig. That makes sense because a guinea pig is exactly what I sound like when I sing. I went through “People Will Say We’re in Love” from “Oklahoma!” and learned some useful stuff, which I have now forgotten. Joseph is very good at teaching but I’m a terrible pupil.
April
A couple of things of note in April; I saw 10cc at the Sage, singing merrily along with them to all the hits, doing the Wall Street Shuffle and flying with Mandy.
We went to Wales for a few days, seeing relatives and retreading some well worn paths as we used to go regularly when Rachel’s Mum lived in Tenby. She sadly passed away in 2013, and it is hard to believe that this was the first time I’d been there in 9 years. Rachel and I had a walk along the beach to Tenby and for all the world we could’ve been in the Mediterranean.
On 24th, I went to Newcastle to walk past a homeless man on the Millennium bridge. I was paid £90 for the privilege. And before I get any complaints, I was being a Supporting Artiste on the ITV series, Vera. And so was the homeless man.
May
I went to two concerts this month, to see Whitesnake, and the Pet Shop Boys. Whitesnake were good. The PSB were phenomenal, such a great show. They’ve been around for a while and seem to have got the hang of this concerting lark. I hope to see them again in 2023.
I also did a couple of extra runs on my taxi this month, picking up walkers from their Hadrian’s Wall walks. The first one I did took ages as the passengers had no idea where they were, and it was “What Three Words” that saved us all in the end. It was strange feeling being a proper taxi driver, and not just taking my regular kids to their schools.
June
The County Show took place at Bywell, and I went along for the first time in years. It was all mud, big shiny tractors and wary sheep, and people in Barbour jackets walking around, chatting about acreage and yield. I loved it. I felt like a country gent for a couple of hours.
I didn’t see any of those farming types at the Barry Manilow concert I attended later on in the month though. Strange, that.
July
The hottest day on record saw some of the children not go to school on 19th. I was so glad that I didn’t work in an office anymore; well, I’m always pleased when I remember that, but never more so than on that day.
On 24th, I went up to Prudhoe cemetery for a short service of remembrance for Billy Callender, a Prudhoe lad who was spotted playing in goal for Prudhoe Town and snapped up by Crystal Palace in 1928. He went on to make many appearances for The Eagles but tragically ended his own life in 1932 after his fianceé died. There were 10,000 people at his funeral in Prudhoe, but he is largely forgotten today. It was good to be able to remember him.
At the end of the month, just before were due to go on holiday, we had to take our elderly cat, Chester, to the vets. We were all convinced that he was about to die, as his balance had gone and he could hardly stand up. Turns out he was working his ticket, and there was nothing wrong with him, the cheeky 17 year old joker!
August
And so it was with a great sense of relief that we set off on holiday to Greece on 27 July, where we basically slobbed around a pool and took it easy for seven days. It was my first time abroad for four years and I loved it.
I saw my dentist for the first time in years too this month, but he’s a nice guy and I didn’t get the telling off that I either deserved or expected.
Rachel and I went to Wynyard Hall on her birthday, where it turned out to be a beautifully sunny day. If you don’t know it, and you like walled gardens, give it a go. It’s a gorgeous place, despite being near Billingham.
My, August was a busy month. On 15th I went to Devon to see my Mum for a few days. There’s a pasty and ice cream shop in Dawlish called Gay’s Creamery, full of all the kinds of things that they tell you not to eat. I’ve just put on three pounds writing about it.
September
Palace arrived at Newcastle for the second time this year, so off up the 120-odd steps I went again to watch a 0-0 draw. Rather cheekily, there were a couple of Geordies behind us, providing a running commentary on the parentage and integrity of the Palace players, which was kind of them. They were rather annoyed when Newcastle had a goal disallowed, so that was fun and provided a bit of balance as they turned their attention to the match officials.
The Great North Run provided the major event of the month, and rather foolishly we decided to go and cheer on our younger lad and his girlfriend at the finish line. It took so long because of the crowds that we decided that, if we go again next September, we will set off in July.
October
You know all this rehearsals that I’d been going to since January? Well, this month saw the fruits of those labours as I was part of a concert at the Queen’s Hall in Hexham to celebrate 90 years of the Stage Society.
Rehearsals can very occasionally get in the way of life. I’d missed some football matches, gone out on nights where I was too tired to dance and sing, just to practice songs and moves that I was getting so used to that they were quite frankly getting boring. But for the most part they are fun, and when you get to Show Week it all crystallises into an unforgettable experience. There is no feeling like being on stage with your friends and getting appreciated by a paying audience for what you do.
Durham Ladies played Palace Ladies again this month. I went again. Palace won again. And I missed the photos again.
November
I had been part of the group of five people which arranged the 90th Anniversary party for the Stage Society at Hexham Mart so I was pleased that all our efforts paid off on 12th when the event was a real success. It was such an enjoyable experience that everyone wanted to make it a more regular event, so I think some of my 2023 will be taken up trying to do just that.
For the third and final time this year, Newcastle hosted Crystal Palace, and off I went again. This time we lost on a penalty shoot out. It transpired that Palace haven’t won one of those since 2004, which doesn’t surprise me.
December
The month I became what used to be called an Old Age Pensioner, so I collected my bus pass and my State Pension. This all crept up on me and came as quite a surprise, because six months ago I was only 17.
We got to meet and welcome my eldest lad’s boyfriend, who is an expert on Disney and loves board games. He’ll fit in well.
On 18th I had an eye test, and welcomed an engineer to unblock our drains. But neither of those events were as exciting as the World Cup Final, even though it was ridiculous that it was being held in December.
Christmas was fun, even though we all had bugs. Looking at Social Media, it seems positively de rigueur this season. But who believes anything on Twitter?
Running through all these events were the normal regular activities. I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher roughly 875 times, did about 700 washes and fed the cats about 600 times.
Thats all very scary, but on a lighter note, I continued to try and learn German and Spanish, and read around 50 books. In English. And I’m still healthy.
And so to 2023, and who knows what will happen? I intend to become fluent in Spanish and German, win the lottery, travel a bit more, and finish that book that I’ve been writing. So I’d better get on with it.
Happy New Year!
Steve's Journal 