Things “to be getting on with” while I have the chance.

At first I dreaded the prospect of having to stay at home for a few weeks. I’m just like most other people; I like a coffee at Costa, a trip to the cinema, a good old singing session with my friends at HASS in Hexham. But while all those activities are on ice, we all have to try and pass the time in other ways, and so these are some of the things that I thought I’d have a go at while I’m confined to barracks.

1. Build a Fokke Wulf 190.

The boys bought me an airfix model for Christmas, of a German fighter plane from the second world war. I used to do these models a lot when I was a kid, but thought then that I may not have the time to build it. Well I have now. I just hope I haven’t forgotten how. We are about to find out.

These days aren’t as bad as WW2, remember

2. Do a Jigsaw Puzzle.

Carrying on with the second world war theme, I was also given a jigsaw puzzle. This one was of our brave boys of the RAF giving a German fighter plane a good kicking over the cliffs at Beachy Head. Mind you, if the German plane had been built to the standards that I apply to my airfix kit, it wouldn’t have been much of a contest.

500 pieces, 329 of which are of a blue sky

3. Learn Spanish.

To be fair, I have a pretty routine grasp of the language at the moment as I’ve been studying it for a couple of years now. But I’m hoping that, by the middle of June, I’ll be reading Don Quixote in the original language. At the moment I can only do that if he goes to a restaurant or the grocery store, or wants to know the way to the post office.

4. Read a Book. No; read several books.

I read a fair bit anyway, probably get through one book a week. Maybe that will increase to three or four, as long as it’s not Don Quixote. I’m currently reading “Any Human Heart” by William Boyd. In English.

5. Do the Times Crossword.

I have a book of Times cryptic crosswords.

This alone could take me up to retirement

I’ve had it for about a year; there are 100 puzzles in it. I’m halfway through number 1. I hope to finish it before the book’s second anniversary. Here’s an example of a clue, so you can see how hard they are. Well, they’re hard for me.

Gift the Queen gives host (9)

6. Read all my E mails rather than just delete them.

Admit it, you do that as well. I will learn quite a few things I think. Currys PC World have a sale on; Easyjet have fares available from £29.99; a clinic is offering a procedure that really, really doesn’t appeal to me; the Whitesnake concert I was going to in June is cancelled – wait, what?! Bugger.

7. Play Board Games with my Family.

I’ve already played chess for the first time since Geoff Elvin and I sat for three hours at a friend’s house while a party went on around us about two years ago. Blokus is a good one for a group, as is Uno, Yahtzee and the good old pack of cards can provide fun for all the family until the drink kicks in, and the trouble starts. Not that it ever does in my family. Not at the time of writing anyway.

8. Watch those movies that you nearly threw out.

I saw two films in one day just recently. Sweeney Todd and Our Souls at Night. Both very different, but the point is, I have about 75 DVDs to watch, so that’ll take a while. And don’t get me started on Netflix.

9. Finish my novel.

Everyone has a book in them, so they say. I’ve written twenty three pages of mine so far, which sounds impressive until you find out that I put it away in 2006 and haven’t gone back to it since.

10. Get my Art stuff out and paint or draw a picture.

I used to do this a lot, but again it’s something that has slipped out of my world. All my art gear is currently shut away in a drawer and hasn’t seen the light of day for a while. The only thing is, I would go out into the world and draw buildings, which is out of the question at the moment. So it’ll have to be a still life, a cat, another still life or an arty selfie.

Now you’ve seen my etchings.

There are other things, which I haven’t covered here. For example, learn to teach history through the medium of interpretative dance; mime; build a papier mache model of Donald Trump to keep people away from the house; and a thousand others. And if this goes on for longer than we bargain for, that’s what I’ll do.

But for now, I’m off to build my Fokke Wulf. Have fun if you can folks, and stay positive. One day soon, all this will just be a memory.

Oh, and the Crossword answer?”‘Present (gift) plus Queen (ER) = PRESENTER (in other words, a host)”.

Only another 99 to go!