Do Try This At Home

First thing I should say is that I hope and believe that Gerry Marsden is alive and well. I wish him good health and a ripe old age, even though he was my torturer from 1969 for about three years. But alive or not, he still haunts me occasionally. Because he was my PE teacher when I was at school, and I hate PE.

So when the Health Guru Jo Wicks decided to become the nation’s PE teacher via YouTube while the current crisis is on, I was persuaded to give it a go. This morning at 9am I found myself standing in the middle of my newly-cleared living room, waiting for the Man Himself to come on and take us through some PE.

It was my first such lesson since about 1972, which is fairly obvious if you know me as my physique demonstrates that I’m not exactly a fan of exerting myself. As soon as Jo came on screen and we started a warm up, I was transported back to the gym at Eastbourne Grammar School, lying on a dusty mat and being shouted at for not putting enough effort in. I can still hear Mr Marsden shouting “Down-back-in-and up” over and over as we all tried to do some kind of bunny hop. Most kids got it right, but I was always miles behind.

Jo Wicks is young, fit, good looking and enthusiastic. I only fit one of those categories. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which one. But I did quite enjoy this morning’s session, despite picking up a sore calf which is likely to keep me out of Arsenal’s back four next season (well, that and a lack of footballing talent) but I’ll probably be doing it again tomorrow.

And if anyone knows Gerry Marsden, tell him all is forgiven.

Before and after exercise. But which is which?